Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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