If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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