I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize