OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
