he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
