Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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