I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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