I wish I could teleport
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
