I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize