I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
