I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
