I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
