I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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