I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
