wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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