I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
