he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
