OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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