well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
