We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
