ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
