who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
