Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
