no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
