How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
