What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
