Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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