Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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