Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So here I am, sexting at work.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
