My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
