It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
