I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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