How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
A bitchslap is in order.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
