i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Need sex. Gaining weight.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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