she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
