It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
