blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
