i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
wow bdsm is so cute
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
