he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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