Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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