Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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