the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
