I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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