I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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