I just saw a hot homeless man
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
