i think i have herpe
just one?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
