I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
birth control should be required to get into college
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
