Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize