that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
