The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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