im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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