Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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