just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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