Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
